Ovidiu Eftimie

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Probabil totul a început de la tricoul ăla cu trei lupi ce urlă la lună. Sau o fi cel mai cunoscut exemplu, nu ştiu exact.

În fine, odată ca niciodată un cetăţean a pus un review pe Amazon.com apropo de tricoul ăsta absolut banal. Numai că el n-a scris banalităţi ci a început să spună despre cum tricoul i-a îmbunătăţit viaţa sexuală, i-a dat puteri magice, l-a făcut să leviteze, de-astea. Acum e plin de astfel de comentarii pe amzon la acest tricou care spun, în genere, cam acelaşi lucru, tricoul este magic. De exemplu:

I felt the effects almost immediately: I felt a warm tingling sensation, and my footrot was miraculously healed. Public lice flaked off like a gentle snow at my feet. I grew a moustache. Reader’s Digest declared me “already a winner”, sending me a little cardboard key to my new Audi, which I am hoping to collect later this week.

Sau…

I had read all the hype in the media about this garment, but no amount of due diligence could have prepared me for this shirt. When I placed this piece of art on my torso, I immediately felt my manly chest hairs begin to fuse with the shirt. I looked at my wife and she exclaimed, “Damn you are sexy, the only way you could top that is if you were holding John Travolta’s limp body above your head.”
Since wearing the shirt, I can now control stop lights with my mind. My only complaint is that my resting heart rate is pegged at 179 beats per minute when wearing the shirt. I figure it has something to do with the 3X wolf power. I assume my body will learn to adjust to the wolves, but I am going to have my vasectomy rechecked just in case. I hope the manufacturers don’t bend to the public’s pressure and release a four wolf shirt, because there are few humans that could handle power of that magnitude.

Via Cracked am descoperit ca există multe astfel de produse unde review–urile sunt atât de mişto încât nu mă pot opri din râs. Printre preferatele mele se numără unele la un cablu ordinar despre care se spune…

Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics. I tried to get used to this effect but hearing songs play before I even realized I was in the mood for them just really screwed up my preconceptions of choice and free will.

Sau…

I accidentally dropped one end of my Denon cable into a glass of Tuscan whole milk I was drinking. Later when I finished my milk (yeah, I still drank it; should I not have done that?), my right arm (lost in an accident in 1987) spontaneously grew back.

Is that normal?

Enjoy.

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